This may not be an easy thing to do. All through our
usage, we told ourselves, “I can handle it.” Even if this was true in
the beginning, it is not so now. The drugs handled us. We lived to use
and used to live. Very simply, an addict is a person whose life is
controlled by drugs.
Perhaps you admit you have a problem with drugs, but
you don’t consider yourself an addict. All of us have preconceived ideas
about what an addict is. There is nothing shameful about being an addict
once you begin to take positive action. If you can identify with our
problems, you may be able to identify with our solution. The following
questions were written by recovering addicts in Narcotics Anonymous. If
you have doubts about whether or not you’re an addict, take a few
moments to read the questions below and answer them as honestly as you
can.
Do you ever use alone?
YESNO
Have you ever substituted one drug for another, thinking that one
particular drug was the problem?
YESNO
Have you ever manipulated or lied to a doctor to obtain
prescription drugs?
YESNO
Have you ever stolen drugs or stolen to obtain drugs?
YESNO
Do you regularly use a drug when you wake up or when you go to
bed?
YESNO
Have you ever taken one drug to overcome the effects of another?
YESNO
Do you avoid people or places that do not approve of you using
drugs?
YESNO
Have you ever used a drug without knowing what it was or what it
would do to you?
YESNO
Has your job or school performance ever suffered from the effects
of your drug use?
YESNO
Have you ever been arrested as a result of using drugs?
YESNO
Have you ever lied about what or how much you use?
YESNO
Do you put the purchase of drugs ahead of your financial
responsibilities?
YESNO
Have you ever tried to stop or control your using?
YESNO
Have you ever been in a jail, hospital, or drug rehabilitation
center because of your using?
YESNO
Does using interfere with your sleeping or eating?
YESNO
Does the thought of running out of drugs terrify you?
YESNO
Do you feel it is impossible for you to live without drugs?
YESNO
Do you ever question your own sanity?
YESNO
Is your drug use making life at home unhappy?
YESNO
Have you ever thought you couldn’t fit in or have a good time
without drugs?
YESNO
Have you ever felt defensive, guilty, or ashamed about your using?
YESNO
Do you think a lot about drugs?
YESNO
Have you had irrational or indefinable fears?
YESNO
Has using affected your sexual relationships?
YESNO
Have you ever taken drugs you didn’t prefer?
YESNO
Have you ever used drugs because of emotional pain or stress?
YESNO
Have you ever overdosed on any drugs?
YESNO
Do you continue to use despite negative consequences?
YESNO
Do you think you might have a drug problem?
YESNO
“Am I an addict?” This is a question only you can
answer. We found that we all answered different numbers of these
questions “Yes.” The actual number of “Yes” responses wasn’t as
important as how we felt inside and how addiction had affected our
lives.
Some of these questions don’t even mention drugs.
This is because addiction is an insidious disease that affects all areas
of our lives
—even
those areas which seem at first to have little to do with drugs. The
different drugs we used were not as important as why we used them and
what they did to us.
When we first read these questions, it was
frightening for us to think we might be addicts. Some of us tried to
dismiss these thoughts by saying:
“Oh, those questions don’t make sense;”
Or,
“I’m different. I know I take drugs, but I’m not an
addict. I have real emotional/family/job problems;”
Or,
“I’m just having a tough time getting it together
right now;”
Or,
“I’ll be able to stop when I find the right
person/get the right job, etc.”
If you are an addict, you must first admit that you
have a problem with drugs before any progress can be made toward
recovery. These questions, when honestly approached, may help to show
you how using drugs has made your life unmanageable. Addiction is a
disease which, without recovery, ends in jails, institutions, and death.
Many of us came to Narcotics Anonymous because drugs had stopped doing
what we needed them to do. Addiction takes our pride, self-esteem,
family, loved ones, and even our desire to live. If you have not reached
this point in your addiction, you don’t have to. We have found that our
own private hell was within us. If you want help, you can find it in the
Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.
“We were searching for an answer when we reached out
and found Narcotics Anonymous. We came to our first NA meeting in defeat
and didn’t know what to expect. After sitting in a meeting, or several
meetings, we began to feel that people cared and were willing to help.
Although our minds told us we would never make it, the people in the
fellowship gave us hope by insisting that we could recover. Surrounded
by fellow addicts, we realized that we were not alone anymore. Recovery
is what happens in our meetings. Our lives are at stake. We found that
by putting recovery first, the program works. We faced three disturbing
realizations:
We are powerless over addiction and our lives are unmanageable;
Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are
responsible for our recovery;
We can no longer blame people, places, and things for our
addiction. We must face our problems and our feelings.
"The ultimate weapon for recovery is the recovering
addict."
Narcotics Anonymous 5th Ed.
Van Nuys, CA Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.,
1988
